Sometimes I amuse myself. Sometimes I outright embarrass myself and my family. They won’t admit to being embarrassed though because they love me, quirks and all.
Fortunately, I choose to embrace the embarrassment because it always makes for a good story.
You may wonder at my title, This Week I Was a Cougar. So here’s the story behind the title:
I had a pre-surgical appointment at the hospital this week for the gigantic Staghorn stone I will have blasted from my kidney next week. What is a Staghorn stone you may ask? That’s exactly what I said when they pulled up the x-ray in the doctor’s office and showed me what they’d found (accidentally by the way, while taking a lung x-ray – but that’s another story). It has the name Staghorn because it is big and many horned just like a . . . well . . . a Stag’s horns.
The first part of the visit was an EKG, performed by an RN. I didn’t know I was going to have an EKG or I would’ve dressed differently but no matter. I simply lifted my dress up to my neck as requested, and she did the procedure while we chatted about how I’d turned 60 last November and she’d just turned 61, and how we still feel like we are 35 on the inside but our legs, and tummies, and arms are changing so, that we feel the need to keep everything covered from head to toe so as not to frighten those we meet on the street (I exaggerate just a little).
Procedure finished, I pulled my dress down to my knees and smoothed out the creases while the nurse called in a very nice looking, 40-something-year-old anesthesiologist for my consultation. He was very professional as he explained what would happen before, during, and after my surgery, had me sign a half dozen release forms, and asked if he could answer any questions. Nope. He’d been very thorough in his explanation and besides, the less I talk about my upcoming surgery the better.
So we chatted a bit about other things, like the best places to vacation in the South, great beaches, mountain getaways, etc. He even wrote down the names of some of the most romantic places to stay. I leaned forward across the desk to take the paper he had written the names of the resorts on just as he thought of another great place and pulled the paper back to write some more (picture this, me leaning down across the doc’s desk, paused there for several seconds waiting for him to finish – I’ll tell you why later).
“Thank you doctor,” I said, in my best version of a Southern drawl, which isn’t very good because I’ve only lived here 1-1/2 years and I haven’t quite got it down yet.
I left shortly afterwards, drove to the nursery to buy a few plants (where the woman at the cash register barely made eye contact with me and was rather distant, but the young man who loaded my car was very outgoing and friendly, telling me how beautiful my yard was going to be with the excellent choices in plants I’d made, how much they appreciated my shopping with them today, telling me to be sure and get my plants out of the car as soon as I got home. On and on and on. What a sweet young man).
Next I headed home where I hurried into the powder room because, you know, that is what a sixty-year-old lady must do as soon as she drives into the driveway. Sometimes she is thinking about it even as soon as her car turns into the neighborhood.
There in my powder room, washing my hands at the sink . . . I glance up to check my face, only to catch site of the buttons on my dress, popped open all the way down to a place I won’t tell you because I don’t want to put any unsightly visions into your head! I am a modest woman by nature. I don’t like to show any cleavage whatsoever but THIS . . . this was a bit beyond cleavage to the point of COUGARDOM!
That my friends, is my embarrassing story of the week.
Blessings,
P.S. The pictures in this post are a peek out my windows into my backyard. Be sure to come back for my next post where I’ll show the full array of pictures in Making a Courtyard Patio on a Backyard Deck.
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Elaine Louderback says
And you bending over the desk by the nice young 40 year old Dr….Love it lol!!!
Shelly says
LOLOLHAHAHAHA… such sweet young men, aren’t they?!!!
Sherry @ No Minimalist Here says
Patti, You are so funny! Best of luck with the surgery.
Jen says
That’s hilarious!
Leslie says
Bwahaha!
Pat says
Patti,
Oh, my goodness, dear friend!
Yes! That is embarrassing!
I’m sorry to hear about your upcoming surgery!
Prayers are coming your way for healing!
Fondly,
Pat
Bonnie Schulte says
What a cute story, made me smile and laugh out loud.
Cindy says
Hope your procedure goes perfect and quickly!! My husband gets his stone blasted next week too!!Hang in there! Prayers!!!
Jane says
Growlarious !!!
Mary Anne Komar says
Oh my, bet you are still giggling!
Diane | An Extraordinary Day says
Patti…. your story totally cracked me up! You cougar you!!
I LOVE the view from your window of your deck and the woodsy area beyond. That is an incredible spot you have. 🙂
SUSAN SHIPE says
Yup! Definitely cougaring. Watch them puppies, Patti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xo Praying for a speedy recovery from the staghorn – sounds painful. Can’t write another word, running to the bathroom!!!
Jann Olson says
Ha, ha Patti, you made me laugh! Sounds just like something I would do. No wonder the men were so attentive. lol! Thanks for sharing with SYC you cougar you!
hugs,
Jann
Carol Cook says
I’m sorry that I am still laughing!
And, no one told you because of all the cougars out there who dress that way intentionally.
Our house is the 4th one down our lane. The minute I make the turn onto our lane my bladder perks up. Once the car is stopped, I have to bolt into the house!
Joanne Boulter says
Thank you for sharing your story at SYC!
Cindy says
TOO FUNNY!
Thanks so much for sharing at AMAZE ME MONDAY!
Blessings,
Cindy
Peggy says
You are and hilarious! And I have to say it must not be in too bad of shape since the doctor and young man at the nursery were enthralled! So I say bless you for making theirs and my day on two different levels. I bet you blushed.
Pinky says
Too funny! But also embarrassing:) Thanks for the LOL!
Leslie Harris says
This is such a funny story !! You’re adorable by the way —who cares about age?!
xo
Lesllie