Have you ever been at the receiving end of a personal attack so brutal that it wounded you to the core. I have. Attacks by someone we don’t really know may be easily brushed off (unless you are super sensitive, which I can sometimes be) but when we are attacked by those we are closest to the pain is real, and it hurts.
How do we respond to the hurt?
Welcome to FREEDOM FRIDAY – A devotional, emotional, spiritual and sometimes hysterical series that I will be sharing on occasional Fridays, in addition to my regular Old Things New posts. Why? Because though once bound in chains Christ has set me free – FREE to live, to love, to dance, to sing, to be who God created me to be!
When someone lashes out it may be that there is an element of truth to what was said or there may be no truth in it at all. No matter what it still hurts and it’s easy to take up an offense against the person who hurt us.
*Maybe that hurt is manifested in anger, “Well FINE, if that’s the way you want to be, I’m done!”
*Maybe your response is to flee and to isolate, pretending it never even happened.
*Maybe the hurt manifests in deep pain, even fear of loss so that you crumble, taking all of the responsibility upon yourself and scrambling to make things right.
For most of us it is very tempting to hold an offense against the person who hurt us, running the words over and over in our heads, giving them new meaning, maybe even beginning to believe untruths said about us and beating ourselves up, rather than remembering and dwelling on who we are in Christ (For a link to Scriptures telling who you are in Christ click HERE).
This is just plain wrong.
Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Prov 19:11 ESV
Did you know that when you become offended, and allow that offense control you, you have stopped serving God? Share on X
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Eph. 4:31-32 ESV
When we become bitter all the fruits of the Spirit that God has placed in the Christ follower, love, joy, peace, patience, etc. are replaced by all of the emotions allowed to supplant them, hatred, unhappiness, agitation, self -pity and the like. Quickly then, it becomes
All. About. Me.
Following Christ is all about dying to our selfish desires and living for Him, loving God and loving others as ourselves. So maybe we shouldn’t be overthinking and brooding over the injustices against us but instead asking God what is going on inside the other person that would cause them act in such a way. What has hurt them so deeply that they would choose to lash out? Where is God in their life? What deep pain needs healing? How can we pray for them?
Think of when Peter betrayed Jesus. Jesus was hurt sure, but His hurt was for Peter not Himself.
Don’t allow hurt to cause you to take up an offense and reproduce the same bad fruit in you as the other person has exhibited toward you. Don’t let hurtful words pull you in the wrong direction, away from God instead of toward Him. Don’t let what you do with the hurt lead you into rebellion against God.
Ask yourself what thoughts you are having toward the one who offended you. Are they true? Are they honorable? Are they right, pure, and lovely? Can you continue to hold onto the thoughts you are having and be obedient to Christ?
Forgive, forgive, and forgive, and when the feelings of the initial hurt resurface forgive again. Share on X
I know this is hard. Believe me friends, I don’t write anything that I haven’t experienced myself. The core of our pain can become, in God’s hands, the core of our purpose.
For more help on Forgiving Others please refer to THIS post.
Remember that anything others do to you is nothing compared to what Jesus did for you. Share on X
Blessings,
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Great word Patti! I, too,
Have experienced offenses but God wanted to set me free. One time He even did it in a dream where He said I want you to remove all of the fences in sown Greek pastures and the words all of the fences turned into offenses. Ha! Thanks for sharing.
This was good for people to read. I am glad you posted it. We forget that holding on is what the enemy wants….so God can’t use us for HIS will. I have heard the now deceased Christian teacher John Paul Jackson (my mentor) say that God allows this to happen for a reason. In JP’s case it was to humble him. He had gotten a reputation as a prophetic voice. God didn’t like the reputation thing. So He allowed some false accusations about JP and a few others to go around the world. It ruined his reputation. Exactly what God wanted. Then God built him back up, by allowing the accuser to be found guilty of false accusations. JP said it was the hardest thing he ever had to go thru, but it was also the BEST. I also learned that having a dream about using the toilet in public is saying that you WILL have some sort of public humiliation. Depending on how public a figure you are, it could be just being embarrassed in church, a group, work, or a much bigger embarrassment. I have had that dream MANY times. (Lucky me!!) I have also been embarrassed in front of others. Recently someone was aggravated with someone else and took it out on me in front of someone. I was surprised and thought it was VERY unlike this person. I did not deserve that. It hurt but I had to immediately let it go. They did come back and apologize a few days later and explain. I am thinking this won’t be the LAST time I have to go thru this, being I have prophetic dreams about the church at times, AND I am a preacher’s wife. My husband will be more in the public eye and so will I, as God leads him on a new path in our future. We already know a lot of what we will be doing. I am NOT excited about public humiliation!!! LOL I have always been one who is a bit sensitive and I guess God is using these experiences to thicken my skin a bit. And I am extremely friendly and open with everyone I meet. I have to watch what I say. (NOT so easy! LOL) And ya never know WHO is gonna be the one to lay you out in public! EEK! LOL
What an awesome message. Thank you very much. I needed hearing it…
Forgiveness may be all well and good and holding a grudge takes energy on your part, but, believe me, it is totally fine to protect yourself against those who would do you harm, physical or psychological, by limiting are eliminating contact.
Thank you Teddee, for your thoughts on my post about forgiving those who hurt us. I agree with you about it being okay to have boundaries and protecting ourselves from some of those who have done great harm and may even be prone to continuing to harm us. I have a family member who I had to protect myself from for many, many years. Just this past summer God led me to re-establish contact on a limited basis. I still have boundaries and I also live clear across the country so it is safe for me now. I only need to be careful not to let my boundaries keep me from loving fully.
A post filled with wisdom, Patti. Will be thinking on this today > “It it to his glory to overlook an offense”. May we have a reputation for overlooking the offense as it will point others to the One who has most forgiven us all. Have a wonderful weekend!
Thank you for this reminder! I can be way too sensitive, and it’s important that I let that go before I start brooding and replaying conversations, like you say or I’ll find myself sidetracked by worry and half-imagined hurts! Best to forgive whatever offense there was, assume the best, and move on serving.
Patti – it is so hard when people who are close to us lash out. When we became senior pastors, we were told “sheep bite” be careful. I didn’t fully understand that, until it happened and what made it even worse, was it was from someone super close. Taking an offense is so often the thing that happens, but we must be diligent to not allow it to take root and instead seek Jesus and we process and as you say, forgive, forgive and forgive, then forgive again. I don’t want to replicate the bad fruit – I want to produce life giving fruit. Thank you for sharing such truth and a powerful reminder for us all, just how Christ would handle personal attacks. Hugs
Good, encouraging word for this Tuesday. Loved the 1st Click to Tweet. Amen! Visiting via #raralinkup.
So glad for this today, Patti! Harboring hurt is, as you say, all about me. Something we easy overlook and a sin we often stumble right into. Thanks for the clarity and the encouragement to follow Him unhindered today!
Patti,
I found you on Strangers and Pilgrims blog and I’m glad I did!
I’m sitting here, brooding over something that made me angry?, no more frustrated.
THIS IS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO READ, at this very moment!
Thank you!
Great post. I needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing at The Art of Homemaking.
Good stuff, girlfriend.
I needed to read this just now.
Some people just live angry and sometimes we get spilled on by them.
Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.
Love you much, Sugar!