We lost another dog this week. Cozy. She was sweet, spunky, loving, needy, beautiful, anxious, and more than anything she was MY dog, who followed so closely on my heels that I often tripped over her laid-out-flat body. As much as I loved and grieved her mama Snoopygirl, the grief I feel over Cozy is different. More intense. I told Mr. OTN that I think it is because of their personality differences.
Snoopygirl was a strong and independent Beagle. She was smart and intuitive. She sensed our moods and was always there to offer comfort.
Cozy, on the other hand, was not so intuitive, anxious and needy from the start. When you would reach over the dog gate to pet her she would wrap her paws around your arm and hang on for dear life. When any of the family members would lie down she took that as a clue to climb right up on your chest where she would knead like a cat with her front paws while at the same time pressing her head into your face (sometimes a bit too hard) seeking to be as close as she could be!
We gave Cozy the head kisses she longed for and hubby and I always equated her persistence with our own need to be persistent in pressing in for more of God. She taught us lessons, that one.
When Cozy starting going downhill she declined quickly. Her always wagging tail hung limp, she stopped eating as vigorously as a normal Beagle does, she lost weight, and even lost the energy to follow me from room-to-room. Finally she stopped eating and drinking altogether and preferred to stay put on her bed in the kitchen. We knew it was time. On her last day we took turns holding her like a baby as she pressed her head into our shoulders receiving comfort.
I believe that the difference in the intensity of our grief is this: Snoopygirl gave comfort, Cozy received comfort, proving the point that it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.
We fight against pain, trying to suppress it, getting busy to forget about it.
But why do we tend to think happy is the only way? Do we not know that happiness can be felt more intensely when we’ve experienced grief?
Some positive things about grief:
- I consider myself blessed to have loved a dog like our little Cozy. If we hadn’t had sixteen good years with her there would be no sadness to feel, but we also wouldn’t have happy memories to cherish.
- I’m thankful for the things Cozy’s neediness taught me. As Ann Voskamp says in her book, The Broken Way, “The only way to abundant life is the broken way of risk.” We take a risk when we give our hearts away but abundance comes in giving ourselves in love.
- Times of great sadness can also be times of great closeness to God, if we’ll seek Him. Scripture tells us in Psalms 34:17-18 that God hears the cries of the brokenhearted and He moves in close to share in the pain.
- I know that God can use every sad life experience for a higher purpose. We gain understanding through experience and II Cor. 1:3-4 says that we can comfort others with the same comfort we’ve received from God. Not only can God use our hurts as a means for us to pour into the lives of others, but when we pour out, He fills us up again so we can give some more.
Now I know that there are other, more painful things in life than the loss of a pet (especially for those of you who may not be pet people). Mr. OTN and I have experienced and are even now experiencing some of those “other” things, but we have come to accept that we can’t expect for life to always be happy.
When we feel the need to pursue happiness at all costs that can lead to all sorts of other addictive behaviors . . . but that’s a post for a different time.
Know this. It is brave and even healing to allow yourself to fully feel grief and brokenness. Sharing that brokenness with others makes you more authentic and real. I’d much rather be with real broken people than fake happy people. How about you?
If you are experiencing brokenness of any kind in your life, I pray that God will speak to your heart today. Our hope is in God alone. He alone is perfectly faithful in love toward us .
“Don’t cry because it’s over, SMILE because it happened.”
New Year’s blessings to you my friends,
I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!
Sunday:
TheDIYShowoff, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive, SilverPenniesSundays, SundaysAtHome, RusticAndRefined, Spiritual Sundays, GiveMeGrace
Monday:
IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired, InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, CelebrateYourStoryMaking Your Home Sing Mondays, The Beauty in His Grip What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking,SmallWonder, LifeGivingLinkup, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends
Tuesday:
TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CozyLittleHouse, CedarHillFarmhouse, KatheWithAnE,TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles, Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story, IntentionalTuesday
Wednesday:
SavvySouthernStyle, TheBlissfulBee, Posed Perfection, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, ChristianBloggerLinkup, Whole Hearted Home, Mom’s Morning Coffee, Women with Intention, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday
Thursday:
ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner, PrettyPreppyParty, The Deliberate Mom/Shine Blog Hop, I Choose Joy, Live Free Thursday, Thought Provoking Thursday, PartyAtMyPlace, 100HappyDays, SincerelyPaulas, ThankfulThursdays
Friday:
FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, RootedInThyme, TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Sweet Inspiration, Faith’nFriends, Missional Women Faith Filled Fridays, Dance With Jesus
Saturday:
FunkyJunkInteriors, OneMoreTimeEvents, SaturdaySparks, TheInspirationGallery, Make My Saturday Sweet
Patti, I am so sorry for your loss.
Hugs,
Sherry
Thank you my friend.
I love this post for so many reasons. Our little Sam was under the weather for 12+ hours and I thought of you and Cozy and it made my heart hurt. I am so thankful that we have a good good Father who understands our weakness and is more than sufficient to meet us in it. (((X O)))
We do indeed have a good, GOOD Father and because He is good, I know that His heart hurts right along with us. Thank you dear friend. Love you <3
Patti, thank you for this beautiful post. It is very hard losing a pet, especially when you are an animal lover, and I certainly am. So thankful that God understands that, even when others may not. The Christmas season and the months of January and February is a time that I reluctantly look forward to. My husband and mother were both very ill and passed during that season of time. Though it has been 15 and 17 years respectively since their passing…this time of the year can be very sad for me. I say “can be”, because as i draw closer to the Lord, He has and is helping me to embrace the grief and understand that He not only is with me, but understands how I feel and that it is ok, even as a strong Christian, to have those feelings, because as eternal beings we were not initially created by Him to experience physical death. He has used my experiences to have more compassion on others and prayerfully and hopefully to encourage them as I have been encouraged by Him. Thank you again for sharing. I know you will miss your precious dog, may the Lord continue to give you Grace to recount the wonderful memories as your broken heart is healed. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
Thank you SO much for these beautiful words Veronica. I’m sorry that you had to experience the death of two loved ones during the Christmas season. It is indeed okay to embrace the grief. In fact, it is better to embrace and feel it in the long run. I pray God’s blessings over you and know that he will continue to use your compassionate heart to speak life into others. Blessings to you.
This is a beautiful post in so many ways. I am so grateful that our God is able to bring His comfort, no matter our loss. May your memories bring you joy in time. Blessings!
Thank you Joanne. I appreciate your thoughtful words.
I am fighting the tears as I write this. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost two beloved cats within 3 months of each other, Sept and Dec. I know we are grieving as much as when we lose a person we love dearly. Just remember the joy we got from the love of our pets. And we have good memories of the love we shared.
Oh Debra, I’m so sorry that you’ve had this recent loss too. I can’t imagine losing two pets so close together. God bless and comfort you my friend. <3
I am so sorry for your loss. One of the hardest things to do is to make that last drive with a pet with whom we have shared so many years and loving moments. Please accept my condolences.
Thank you Teddee. I appreciate your words.
Loss of any kind is never easy, but we do learn a lot from it.
Yes we do sweet Carol. Love you <3
You are such a dear, sweet and intuitive person, Patti. What a beautiful way to describe the differences between both of your beloved pets. I’m right there with you on grieving for your animals, although thankfully I’m not having to go through that at the moment. I am, however, sorry that you are.
When we choose to love an animal, that is a real risk we take, isn’t it? I’ve often said that being the human in charge of faithful and loving animals is NOT for the faint of heart……because said heart becomes quite vulnerable.
Blessings to you and Mr OTN as you two travel through this sad period in your days. Love to you, my friend.
I love you too dear friend. Your words are a healing balm. Loving is always a risk isn’t it, but it is what we are commanded to do. Mostly people, but little dogs too 🙂 God bless you!
Patti, I am praying with you during this loss. Thank you for sharing. I’ve missed reading your treasure of words and the meditation of your heat.
Thank you for your condolences regarding Cozy AND for missing my posts. I appreciate your encouragement so very much dear Connie. I’m praying that God will give me fresh words and renewed vigor to write in 2017. I miss you <3
I know what it’s like to love a dog…and then lose a dog. I’ve been there a few times. WOW that your log lived that many years!!!!! I’m sorry you are hurting…but we are human…we feel and we hurt. It’s HOW we deal with our grief that matters. You seem to be doing it the right way…the GOD way.
It’s sad to see a pet sick.
My dog hurt his leg Friday trying to jump into the car….and we didn’t realize it. He has weight issues (still trying to figure out WHY a perfectly healthy 4 y/o dog gained 8 pounds in a year.) and probably should not be allowed to be jumping into the car. That was MY fault. He seemed extra spunky so I let him try. We thought it was something else, not his leg. So, off to the vet we went in the snow storm. He had anal gland issues (yes..ew) and we thought that was all his discomfort was from. He couldn’t sit up. A day later…he is laying around…doesn’t want to do ANYTHING. He won’t drink unless we cup our hand and he drinks out of our hands. I know, that is ridiculous. But he HAS to drink. He won’t eat unless we hand feed him. We finally realized today it was his leg. He cried when my daughter went to get him up.
So tomorrow…skip the hour trip to MY doc over the bridge, in the next state…and back to the vet. (I didn’t want to have to be driving in the city after a snowstorm anyway.) I will reschedule….it will probably take 6 mos to get back on the schedule since I can only get there at certain times of the day (traffic is a huge problem and have a kid to get off to school) I’m looking at the positive…now my yearly visit will be in warmer months and I won’t have to worry about SNOW! 🙂 We mothers ….we put “them” first all the time, don’t we? LOL
Oh Robin, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog and hope that the doc has figured out what’s wrong with him. Prayers said for you!
I’m so sorry, our pets give themselves completely to us. What a wonderful gift from God – our beloved pets.
They do indeed Barbara. Thank you 🙂
I feel your pain too! We have loved and lost 4 beautiful dogs now ! I know the pain and sadness in your heart and spirit! But this is temporary ! You WILL be reunited with Cozy in heaven! God Bless !!
All dogs go to Heaven! I do pray that is true Cindy.
Oh so sorry Patti! Your insight into grief being real, but also allowing joy over what has been when the time is right is precious.
Thank you dear friend Bethany! YOU are precious <3
I know how much you loved Cozy and all your dogs. I also can relate to going through grief to understand happiness on a deeper level. As hard as it is it grows us exponentially in our relationship with God if we let it.
My heart hurts for you over the loss of your companion but rejoices that in the broken you have found the happy. Love you friend!
I love you too dear friend and I know you understand grief as you’ve experienced one of the greatest kinds of grief this past year. I love the healing God brings and the ways he uses our grief to strengthen us and in turn, strengthen others. Blessing to you dear one.
so true and yet we (I) avoid pain at all costs when facing potential pain – yet that’s when we know I Savior most and best – great post and photo and quote and insights! next to you at Moments this rainy morning in CA
It is SO easy to avoid pain at all costs Sue, but the only way through the pain is THROUGH the pain. Thank you for coming by and commenting. 🙂
I’m so sorry for your Loss. We too had profound Losses this Holiday Season as my Mom and my Mother-In-Law passed within 3 months of each other during the Holiday Season… it is bittersweet to Celebrate and Mourn simultaneously. Virtual Hugs… Dawn… The Bohemian
I am so sorry for you losses Dawn. It must have been a very hard holiday for you to get through. I pray that God is continuing to heal all your hearts and bringing you many happy memories to make you smile. Thank you for your sweet thoughts.
I love the Dr. Suess quote! I remember taking the kids to do special things when they were younger and expecting them to be so excited afterwards that they would thank me for my kindness. What? Yeah, I know, didn’t happen. They cried instead that it was over and they had to leave.
I wonder if we could find a happy medium to be grateful to God for the special blessings and still grieve at the same time? I think it would bless His heart if we were thankful. And He understands grief, so He’s okay with that, too.
I like what you said about sadness being a time of “great closeness to God, if we’ll seek Him”. It’s so true!
I loved that Dr. Seuss quote when I saw it too and I thought how perfect it was to use in remembering our Cozy. We never would’ve experienced the joys of knowing our dog she hadn’t been in our lives. I like your words about finding the “happy medium” in being grateful to God as we grieve. He does indeed want us to be grateful in all things. Thank you for your words.
What a beautiful post, Patti! Each relationship (whether human or animal) is unique, so it makes sense that our response to loss will be slightly different each time. I’m sorry for your recent losses. May God comfort you and renew your Joy.
Thank you dear June. God is our comfort and, though the sad thoughts come, joy follows.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Susan. Cozy was a well-loved dog! And I also love how you contrasted your two dogs temperaments and desires. There truly is so much we can learn from those who need our comfort and encouragement. And though I know you are seeing the blessings of having known and loved Cozy, I’m praying for you and your hubby as you grieve her passing.
Thank you sweet Beth.
Patti, my heart is hurting at the loss of both Snoopygirl and cozy. I love what you shared and how real your words were as I was reading you share about Cozy. I shed a few tears as I read your deep love for them both. I love the Dr Seuss quote…. Your writing is so pure and rings so true in many hearts. I found your post today at #WomenWithIntention … I am not sure what happened, but I’m not getting emails anymore, maybe I need to resign up 🙂 love you much my friend…
Thank you for your lovely words dear friend. Our pets really are a part of the family and it’s sad that we have them for such a short time. Yes, please DO sign up for emails again. I must figure out how to go into “the monkey” and see what is happening with my email list. 🙂
Patricia, thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday!
I’m so sorry to learn of Cozy’s death. . . but so glad you got to share in Cozy’s life! What a blessing for all of you. And as the owner of a 13-year-old beagle, I’m particularly touched by this story.
Your post is beautiful, Patti. You’re right about experiencing grief. May we never be so caught up in chasing happiness that we are unable to fully experience all that life entails.
Bless you, sweet friend!
Thank you so much dear friend. Beagles are the sweetest!
I write this with tears running down my cheeks. I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, you must grieve and then find fond memories to replace your sadness. Love and hugs xo
Thank you so much for your lovely words Katherine. Blessings to you.
I’m so sorry. We had a rescue beagle years ago: they have wonderful hearts. Your approach to grief is beautiful. Thinking of you. Xo
Beagle do have wonderful hearts Jen and we will miss our Cozy greatly. Thank you for your positive thoughts friend.
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to say goodbye to a pet that’s been entrusted to our care. They bless and add to our lives in unimaginable ways. I love your focus on the happiness through the brokenness.
Visiting from the Make my Saturday Sweet Link Up.
Happy Saturday!
Megs
Thank you for your kind words Megs. Our pets surely are a blessing.
Thank you for sharing Patti. My husband and I have been there quite a few times over the last 35 years, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Blessings,
Candy
Thank you Candy. I appreciate your taking the time to comment. Words are healing.
I’m sorry for your loss. It is important to take time to allow ourselves to feel the grief but I like your perspective of also being thankful for the happy memories. So true that love and grief are often intertwined.
You are right Lesley. It is good to allow ourselves to feel the grief of losing a pet. Healing comes with grieving. Thank you 🙂
So sorry to read about your Cozy. They all have their own personalities and you described hers beautifully. It’s so hard when they leave us, but knowing we will see them again helps to ease the pain. Sending you hugs and prayers.
Thank you so much Suzanne. Your words are healing.