She grins. She laughs. She tells a funny and they chuckle. Few know the pain beneath that smile. Share on X
Here we are, at Part 7 in the 8-part series on Perseverance that myself and three talented friends have put together. This week I just so happen to get to spend time with these same friends when we get together for a meet up in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I am so excited I can hardly wait.
In case you haven’t already met these swell friends, they are:
Mary Geisen, Holly Barrett, and Debbie Kitterman.
And…in case you haven’t already read our previous posts you can click on the titles below to catch up on each of the articles in the Perseverance series: 🙂
- Bravely Overcoming Fear
- Persevering in Recovery
- When Prayers Remain Unanswered
- The Sting of Rejection
- Wishing, Waiting & Pursuing
- Turn & Face the Changes
Today it’s my turn to share on Persevering Through the Pain to Freedom.
Many of us have events in our pasts that have wounded us deeply, the most lingering of which tend to stem from childhood. As much as we try to overcome it, the pain never quite leaves us. We see others, especially those in Christian circles, walking through life with joy and victory. We try to be positive and live that way too, but there’s “this thing” that we can’t quite seem to shake. Maybe it’s a quick temper, perhaps it’s anxiety that we can’t shut down, maybe it’s a critical spirit that finds the negative in everything, or an overreaction to little things, and we don’t know why.
Often we mask our pain with behaviors or addictions. Drugs, alcohol, impulse buying, perfectionism, workaholism, you name it. We can be so uncomfortable in our own skin that we must keeping moving, running, escaping from whatever “it” is. We simply cannot seem to walk in the freedom that God says is ours. If what the Bible says in Gal. 5:1 is true and,
I’ve heard testimonies from those who, when they became Christ followers, experienced instant deliverance in many areas of their lives. I’m amazed by these great testimonies and truly happy for those who receive immediate deliverance and freedom, just like I’m happy for those who receive immediate healing from sickness. Trouble is, though every healing or deliverance is a miracle of God, not every one happens immediately.
For most of us, even after committing our lives to Jesus, it takes some work on our part to be set free from the residual pain of deep wounds, especially those experienced at a young age.
Some (The Fighters) will say that life has dealt them a bad hand and they simply can’t get over it. It will always be that way. That “thing” has become a part of who they are and they are so used to carrying it around that they don’t even know who they’d be without it. So they fight their way through life.
Others (The Flighters) flee all thoughts that remind them of the pain they carry. They simply won’t go back and face what happened to them and feel that the past is best left in the past. So when uncomfortable situations arise that remind them of what happened they isolate or run away.
Then there are those (The Accomodators) who try to make up for what happened to them by going out of their way to help others, even when they are not fully healed themselves. They seek to keep the peace in all situations and want make things right with the world. People pleasing becomes their method of survival.
These are three personality types that we taught about in Freedom Session and all are ways of avoiding the need to face pain in order to find healing. It does SEEM easier not to face pain head on because facing pain is . . . well . . . painful. But over time, ignoring pain is like choosing not to remove a sliver that has lodged deep within your heel, because it hurts too much to even touch. Over time it festers and becomes infected. Your foot becomes painful to walk on and if the infection is left untreated your whole body can become sick, even to the point of death.
Do YOU have something that needs to be healed? Something that you’ve never faced because it is too painful?
Hand high in the air right here because I’ve been there. I understand.
Yes, I’ve had “things” too. When I shoved those things deep and didn’t face them I lived in denial of how they were working to destroy me. In fact, it was only when it became so bad that I couldn’t live with the pain anymore that I admitted my helplessness to manage my own life, and turned everything over to God. It was also then that I became willing to seek help from others.
It was hard work, persevering through the pain, but the only way through the pain I’d been living with for years was through the pain. Taking it out of hiding to look at it, face-to-face, and doing the work necessary to be healed.
It took prayer; godly counsel; forgiveness of those who’d harmed me; admitting wrong and apologizing to those I’d harmed; forgiving myself – because God already chose to forgive me; forgiving God – even though He is without sin and needs no forgiveness from me! It also took breaking of strongholds that the enemy had in my life due to legal ground I’d given him, breaking of ties to events and people who were toxic to me, and devoting myself to continuing in fellowship with other believers, rather than isolating with my secrets . . .
If this message is speaking to you, please, please, please don’t stay stuck. Don’t waste one more day living in bondage. I’m passionate about this because I see too many Christ followers living in bondage! Share on X It doesn’t have to be that way.
The road to freedom CAN be painful but if you are already in pain, what's to lose? The pain. That's what! Share on X
I wish I could take the journey with you. I wish we could walk and talk, and along the way I could share with you how God helped me through the painful places. I’d also tell you of the immense joy that overcame me the day I realized that I was, FINALLY, . . . the-Patti-whom-God-originally-created-me-to-be. I want that joy of discovery for you too!!!
There are many great Christian resources with solid Biblical foundations that are available to help you on the journey. There are amazing programs like Freedom Session (of course I’m partial to FS since we were once Directors of a group), Restoring the Foundations, Cleansing Stream Ministries, and Celebrate Recovery, to name a few. There may also be counseling available through your church (and if you aren’t in a good Bible teaching church please find one – because we need you), or your church may be able to recommend some local Christian counselors who can come alongside to help you.
I’ve talked long, 10 words beyond my 1000 word limit for this post, so I’ll stop now with a prayer. Shhh…we won’t count this or the intro in my word limit 😉
Dear Lord Jesus – Please speak to the one who is reading this and feels like it may be written just for them. Let them know that there is a better way to live than stuck in their pain. Let them know that the things they are doing to try to cover or alleviate the pain are only temporary fixes and that YOU, Creator God, are the only one who can meet all their needs . . . because they were made by You and for You. Please help them in their decision to surrender it all to You, strengthen them for the journey ahead, and continually reveal to them Your great love as you guide them each step of the way. Give them hope as they press through to freedom and the realization of who you created them to be. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen.
Praying and believing for you 🙂
Please join @MaryGeisen, @HollySBarrett, and @Dare2Hear and me for Part 7 in our series on Perseverance. Share on X
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Monday:
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What beautiful wisdom you’re sharing here, Patti. There is just so much here in this post! Thank you. I’m going to share this truth with someone who needs it today. <3
Aw, thank you Betsy. I appreciate this so much.
Yes, YES and Y-E-S! It is for freedom that Christ came to set us free. I have been there too and am truly rejoicing in the discovery process of who God made me to be. Can’t wait to hear more. Sure wish I I could hang with you ladies, and hear more of your stories. But thankful to know you all online. GO GOD!
Loving this message and each of you.
Barb
We WILL all hang together one day Barbara. The fellowship of writers is a beautiful and needed thing. <3
This is a great post! It’s so true that healing is often a long and difficult process and requires perseverance. it is hard when others seem to be walking in freedom much more easily but it is definitely worth it to keep going. The descriptions of the three different ways we can respond are really helpful.
Thank you so much Lesley. The reward of perseverance far outweighs the pain of the journey doesn’t it? I appreciate your comment.
So truth that “for freedom Christ has set us free.” I was praying just this morning over words from Jeremiah about our tendency (like Israel) to reject living water from a never-ending spring and to gulp stagnant and brackish stuff from the leaky cisterns we dig in our pride and self-reliance. Thanks for putting the emphasis on God’s great work of freeing the captive.
Thank you Michele. I always appreciate so much when you weigh in on a topic. Your wisdom and application of Scripture to situations inspires me!
I have been an accommodator. I don’t think anyone has ever put a title on it before. My pain was masked in service. I lived and sometime still do to serve God. Good right? Yes, but not because of who God is and my love for him. Not because I didn’t want others to know my pain. Thanks for identifying my MOA. Now on to pray for deliverance.
Wow! I’m so glad you were able to identify your method of coping with pain. Service to the church, without joy, was my MO for many years. God has so much more for us! Glad you are willing to allow Him to heal, set free, and deliver you. Blessings!
Patti, thank you for sharing your wisdom here! God has a way of revealing to us that there is a better way than living in the pain we’ve incurred on life’s journey. He’s worked with me a lot over the last number of years. He’s revealed to me the foundation of the pain, triggers, and He’s shown me other things. I’ve had to confront memories and (in my journaling) the people who hurt me. I also had to choose to forgive. It’s been a journey. I’m still on it, but doing much better than I was.
May God continue the healing in your heart and may He use your words here in powerful ways.
It sounds like it has been a good journey Jeanne. I’m sure it has also been quite hard along the way. God bless you as you continue this lifelong journey and Use you in a powerful way to bless others.
It can be difficult to go THROUGH the pain of recovery, but it is really the ideal way to find freedom, I agree. I’m so grateful that Christ can bring us healing through so many different hurts in life. Thanks for sharing this encouragement, Patti.
Thank you my friend for the encouragement you’ve extended by commenting on my post. Hugs 🙂
Amen! Thank you for being so open and honest, Patti. And for speaking out with passion about our need to face our pain. I have learned, too, it is so important. God has brought me so far on the healing journey from past abuse, but I’m still a work-in-progress. Gradually God keeps healing me layer by layer. Blessings to you!
There are so many of us walking in pain Trudy. I am indeed passionate about seeing people set free to live fully as the persons God created them to be. Blessings to you to as you walk through the process, being transformed from glory to glory!
I’m so glad that you persevered and went through your pain with the Lord’s help, Patti! Thanks for sharing these insightful truths too!
Love this post-Patti! It was really great and encouraging! My childhood was painful and it’s taken a long time to heal…every day I’m making progress!
Thank you for sharing this!
I’m sorry for your childhood pain but happy that you are progressing in your healing. Praise God that we are being transformed from glory to GLORY!
Pain. Emotional. Spiritual. Physical. At 60+ I’ve experienced them all. But there IS freedom. And, there is HOPE. And, #hopechangeseverything
Yes it does Susan. Can’t wait to talk more about hope with you when I see you (in between our laughter) because that’s what I’m all about 😉
Will share! Thanks, Patti.
I’ve been out of town visiting with cousins, just caught up. When I get discouraged and answers seem to not come I just remember, God watched his son Jesus die on that cross and rise from the dead and he loves us like that too. He loves me more than any human being and I know I will make it thru one problem at a time. I just ask for strength to persever. These are wonderful and strong women, thanks.
This is a group of pretty great group of women Marlene and I’m fortunate to be a part of this series. And your picture of God watching Jesus die on the cross on our behalf is powerful. We are loved so much and He is with us in every season and every situation. Thank you my friend, for taking the time to comment.
How wonderful this post is Patti! I am praying it will reach believers and help them when they are stuck. It is awful to feel like everyone has it figured out but you. #callingalllostsheep Thank you for sharing at Home Sweet Home!