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Day 12 – The Letter

October 12, 2018 by Patti 7 Comments

The Write 31 Days Challenge – 31 Days,Every Day,One Topic

Day 12

(day 1 starts here)

NOTE (This is a repeat of the disclaimer I posted at the beginning of Day 7): Early on in this series I said that it wasn’t a “tell-all” story, and that while my story is mine to tell, the stories of others who might be hurt in the telling are not.  This post contains details about my husband Kelly and his struggles. He has given me permission to share this.  In fact, ever since we started speaking about our story together publicly he has told me that I am free to share anything that might be of help to others.

It was Saturday afternoon and the weather was mild as I walked out to check the mailbox. In the box was an envelope addressed to me. It looked like it might be an invitation to a baby shower, or perhaps a thank you note, as the back flap was sealed with cute teddy bear stickers.

I walked back into the house and laid the rest of the mail down before opening the envelope and reading the card inside:

Dear Patti, My name is L. and I’m having an affair with your husband . . . Click To Tweet

The shock of those words slammed me in the chest and took my breath away.

The note went on the say that she’d worked with my husband at the hospital and that they had been conducting an affair in his apartment in Olympia.  She was writing out of a “deep sense of obligation” to me.

This has been so many years ago that I can’t really remember everything written in the letter but I do remember stomping right up to our bedroom to confront my husband.  As I entered the room I still recall the look of innocence turn to surprise as he looked up and saw my fury.

He took the letter from my shaking hands, read it, and proceeded to lie. Click To Tweet  

He said he had no idea what it was all about!

Remember in a previous chapter how I shared my husband’s own definition of how you know an addict is lying? That’s right, when his lips are moving.

While the drug addiction might have been under control, my husband’s need for admiration, especially by women, had obviously become a problem.  It is all too common for one addiction to be traded for another and yes, the need for admiration (attention) can be an addictive behavior.

When he knew he had no out, he began explaining. He admitted that their friendship had become too intimate when they began to share personal stories at work and he’d become emotionally involved while listening to her stories of a bad marriage. He vehemently assured me though, that he had stopped short of entering into anything physical.

Eventually they had made a plan to meet outside of work in a nearby park.  In that park meeting she had expected to take their friendship to another level, and maybe he had too, but something stopped him (Remember, “Pray for your marriage?” I believe with all my heart that God intervened) and when he got there he ended up cutting short the relationship.  

There is no fury like a woman scorned and her fury turned toward me. Click To Tweet

But I too felt scorned by his behavior and what followed from me was rage and words more vile than I’d ever uttered before.

How could he even think of having an affair with all I’d suffered and supported him through?

Who was the one who’d seen him drunk and puking on the side of the house?  

Who was the one who’d worked to hold his practice together while he was gone for three long months, while working at my own full time job and taking care of the family?

Who was the one who’d patiently waited for the miracle in our relationship because, like they told me, he needed to focus on his recovery and it would be a long time before I could expect that he would have anything to offer back?  He certainly seemed to have something to offer her!!!

He tried to calm me down. “Let’s get out of the house this evening and put the whole thing behind us.”

REALLY?

No! I’m going to church tonight, where my people are.

When we entered church a couple of hours later I went immediately to Pastor Nathan and told him that I needed to talk to him after the service.  Kelly sat next to my very cold shoulder that evening and I’m pretty sure I didn’t say a word to him. I don’t remember anything about the service, except that I wanted it to be over so I could talk to the Pastor.

Nathan and some of the church elders met with us in a back room of the church after the service and I handed one of the elders the letter. While he read it I explained to the others present what was going on.

I can’t remember much more about that meeting other than them questioning Kelly, the letter being taken from me so I wouldn’t keep going back to re-read it, prayer, and a plan to meet again.

Back at home I crumpled in a heap on the floor of the master closet, overtaken with grief in gut wrenching sobs.

I would not be consoled.

And there we end Day 12. Wow, right?

Tomorrow, on Day 13, we will continue with Only the Beginning of the Hard.

To follow this series from Day 1 click right HERE.

And please feel free to share if you think this series might be valuable to someone you know.

I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!

Sunday:

SundaysAtHome, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive, SilverPenniesSundays, RusticAndRefined, Spiritual Sundays

Monday:

IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired,  InspireMeMonday, CelebrateYourStory, What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends, InspireMeMonday, GodSizedDreams

 

Tuesday:

TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CedarHillFarmhouse, TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles,  Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story

Wednesday:

SavvySouthernStyle, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday,  WriterWednesday

Thursday:

ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner,  Thought Provoking Thursday, SincerelyPaulas, ThoughtfulThursday, Tune-inThursday

Friday:

FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Faith’nFriends,  Dance With Jesus FreshMarketFriday

Saturday:

FunkyJunkInteriors, SaturdaySparks, TheInspirationGallery, Make My Saturday Sweet

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Filed Under: Addiction, Christianity, Faith, Freedom, God's Grace Tagged With: Addiction, Christianity, Faith, Freedom, God's grace, My Story, Recovery, Redemption

« Day 11 – We Should be Good Now, Right?
Day 13 – Only the Beginning of the Hard »

Comments

  1. Jan says

    October 13, 2018 at 9:42 am

    Patti! You are such a great writer!! Even though your subject matter is difficult for you I’m sure you are helping someone who needs it. If it were a novel I would have an easier time enjoying it but knowing it is a true story I can only think of you.

    Reply
    • PJ says

      October 13, 2018 at 3:44 pm

      I agree with Jan here. It’s a riveting story and I’m looking forward to how the Lord pulled it all together.

      Reply
      • Patti says

        October 20, 2018 at 10:28 am

        Thank PJ! More to come 😉

        Reply
    • Patti says

      October 20, 2018 at 10:26 am

      Thank you for this compliment Jan. Funny, but I have tried making our story into a novel. Two times I’ve written myself halfway through a book and got stuck. I felt like God told me to write our story as a help to others a long time ago but I wasn’t ready to share things that could potentially hurt others, especially my children. Then came this Write 31 Days thing and seemed like the perfect opportunity to share because my posts wouldn’t be long enough to share all the gory details. That said, maybe I will return to the novel and write fiction based upon experience but embellished to make it really suspenseful! LOL!

      Reply
  2. Janet says

    October 13, 2018 at 4:07 pm

    My feelings and thought are the same as Jan and PJ. Wow! What a powerful tool is developing with this writing projects.

    Reply
    • Patti says

      October 20, 2018 at 10:28 am

      Thank you Janet. I DO hope it becomes a tool to help others. Blessings friend.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Day 24 – Relate, Restore, Release – Old Things New says:
    October 24, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    […] there all that long before moving to Olympia but we became very close, especially through “The Letter” experience. The most encouraging words I’ve ever heard were spoken to me by Rose when we were […]

    Reply

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Welcome! I am Perfectly Imperfect Patti and I’d like to invite you to come in and take a seat in this creative space of mine.

I love the process of hunting for orphaned and cast off furniture (particularly my Chosen Chairs) and then taking the time to transform each piece into something new and beautiful. This process allows me to reflect upon my own story of transformation and blesses me over and over with each piece I redesign.

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💜Valentines Day is the day of love!💜 That’ 💜Valentines Day is the day of love!💜 That’s why I chose this day to share the 🎉Grand Opening 🎉of my custom chair design shop on Etsy. Whether you’re in the market for a new chair or not, I would love for y’all to go to my shop and check it out. You might even learn some things about me that you didn’t know before by clicking on the About page. 😉

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Still going strong after four rounds in the only p Still going strong after four rounds in the only program that has ever worked for me. Sure, I went off plan a few times over the holidays but E2M shows you how to get right back on track toward meeting your goals. It’s not about getting skinny but about being strong, and I feel better than I have in years. Sign ups are open for a limited time for the next 8-week round so check out the link for more info. #e2mpersonaltraining #e2mfitness #e2m #67strong

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“In 1965, Charles Schulz, a devout Christian and “In 1965, Charles Schulz, a devout Christian and creator of the Peanuts comic strip, was asked to create a Christmas special for CBS featuring the Peanuts Characters. He agreed with one requirement, that they allow him to include the story of the birth of Jesus. Although the stations executives were hesitant and tried to convince him otherwise, Schulz was insistent. As a result, for the past 50 plus years, millions of people have watched “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and heard the story of Jesus and “what Christmas is all about.”

It wasn’t until a few years back that I realized a “hidden message” in the film. Linus, a child who seems to have some insecurities as he carries a security blanket with him at all times. In fact, Linus NEVER drops his blanket, except once....

While sharing the message of “what Christmas is all about,” Linus drops his blanket at the exact moment he says the words, “fear not!”

In this seemingly innocent moment, Linus delivers a powerful reminder of the true meaning of Christmas. We are to “fear not”, for Jesus is born. We needn’t rely on material things for security, we have God with us, “Immanuel”, (Matthew 1:23) Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior - the true meaning of Christmas.

Awhile back, someone informed me, indignantly so, that Linus picks up his blanket at the end of the speech so my interpretation must be wrong. Well, he was right, Linus does pick up his blanket at the end of his speech. However, he “drops” it again later... 

Amid big, bright, colorful, shiny artificial trees, Charlie Brown chose the least of these, a little, wooden tree with just a few branches. Shortly thereafter, Linus uses his blanket to wrap about the base of the tree and says, “Maybe it just needs a little love”. In that moment, the tree “awakens”, stands tall and firm. A reminder that no matter who we are, how many mistakes we’ve made, a “little love” can make all the difference.

Let’s strive to “fear not” (Luke 2:10) and “love one another” (John 13:34), not just at Christmastime, but the whole year through.”

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